well to let you know what I’ve been up to is nothing much just hanging out with the bf and the feelings for him are growing =], I’ve been feeling really bad lately cuz i kinda hurt his feelings and without realizing it. I feel like such a bitch to him and all he does is try his best, I kinda speak before i think and only after wards do i realize what Ive done =[, i hated my self soo much when i did that, I thought i had lost him and that he didn’t like me any more and i didn’t know what to do. I was scared to say anything just in case i made it worse, but not saying anything doesn’t help either. I like him a lot i probs even love him but i don’t really understand how he feels. He says he likes me but i don’t know how much, he’ll probs read this and be like wtf??. I’m just scared i wont be good enough for him and that he might deserve someone better, and cuz i have no clue what to do i always poke him or hit him not too hard but its still hitting him and my mother tells me not to do that. I don’t know I’m just really confused on everything and i know couples fight but i don’t ever want to fight with him i don’t think any one wants to fight with the person they like/love. I miss him a lot when hes gone back home even tho i know I’m gonna see him again in so many days but i still miss him heaps, i don’t understand why that is??. I’m also not very good at talking about how i feel cuz i can never know how to explain it to people. I also hate making him drive all the way to my house to see me and pick me up and take me to his house or other places, and how he pays for me when we go to movies or when we eat out i want to find a job already and I’ve applied to lots of jobs and they still haven’t called me back and if they did i didn’t get the job and i want to move out so mom and dad don’t always have to pay for me as well and i feel guilty for them always giving me money to do stuff with friends. Sigh well no one ever said it was easy, I’m learning that right now. I must sound so stupid right now but the only place i feel i can get stuff off my chest is here, well i think thats it I’ll maybe post another one maybe tomorrow not sure when i will again, and the place was called lone star i think thats how it was spelt??
trytosmile
Sam R Said:
on January 29, 2010 at 9:29 PM
lol T.T u hav no idea how much that entry sound exactly how i feel T.T its so sad ay, and wats with this job thing ay…. not to be mean but how does jme do it….. like she had one job quit it got another, quit it two days later and got another O.O like omg rite HOW DOES SHE SO IT >.< i want a job tooooooo. T.T
<3 Spam
trytosmile Said:
on January 30, 2010 at 1:47 AM
lol i dont know shes just lucky that way aye =3
Jamie Said:
on March 2, 2010 at 3:03 AM
Its cus im AWSOME!!!!! bwahahaha ..but seriously… i think it is weird as well lol also it is a bad thing because one day it wont work out like that an ima be like wtf? how did sam an tazz do this lols gosh and i cant believe u talked bout me behind my cyber-back lol